The Many Threads of Abigail — AbbyItoku | Proof Of Life, Episode 19.
Tailor, virtual assistant, choir singer, culture-keeper—Abigail stitches her life together with resilience, laughter, and a little Ekpang Nkukwo.
Some people live one life at a time. Abigail seems to be living three or four in parallel. She’s the fashion designer behind Itoku’s Couture, the calm voice that once picked up your call at MTN, the admin wizard running Abby’s Virtual Desk, and the singer who lifts her voice in church on Sundays. Through each role, Abigail carries the same thread: resilience, warmth, and a quiet belief that tradition and ambition can exist side by side.
Welcome to Proof Of Life, where I draw the curtain for a peek into the lives of everyday people in the years of their becoming.
Enjoy Abigail’s P.O.L
Proof of Life is about identity, beginnings, and becoming. So let’s start there—Abigail Ogar or Abigail Itoku? What’s the story behind the names, and which one feels like your truest self right now?
My full name is Abigail Itoku Okpa. Itoku is my dad’s name, Ogar is the family name, and Okpa is my surname.
I used Ogar on Facebook because my secondary school classmates always teased me about my surname “Okpa” which is also the name of a local Igbo food. But officially, all my documents say Abigail Itoku Okpa, though online I still go by Abigail Ogar or Abbyitoku.
You’ve always had a gift with fashion. Back in school, half the girls in our department were styled by Itoku’s couture and always looked fire. Do you still sew today? And what first led you to tailoring?
Yes, I still make beautiful outfits. My love for dresses led me into tailoring, and today I sew most of the outfits I wear myself.
Over the years, I’ve designed traditional wedding outfits, created timeless casual pieces, and handled bulk sewing for clients. Nothing makes me happier than seeing them satisfied. You can check out my work on Instagram at Itòkú Couture. I’m also improving my skills to stay creative and versatile in the fashion world.
You also wear another hat as an administrative virtual assistant. What do you enjoy most about this path, and what made you choose it?
At Abby’s Virtual Desk, what I enjoy most about being an Administrative Virtual Assistant is helping businesses and individuals manage their daily operations so they can focus on growth. I specialize in calendar and email management, meeting transcription, procurement support, vendor coordination, document preparation, data entry, research, travel planning, client communication, and general administrative support. This role gives me the flexibility I value while allowing me to be a true productivity partner; keeping things organized and running smoothly, one task at a time.
My decision to choose this path was shaped by two things: the inefficiency of Lagos traffic, which made traditional office work draining, and my experience working as a personal assistant, where I discovered how much I enjoy supporting executives and keeping operations seamless.
After a year in that role, I decided to sharpen my skills, expand my services, and launch Abby’s Virtual Desk. Today, I’m focused on helping clients save time, stay efficient, and achieve their business goals with ease.
I really admired your consistency burst with Abby’s Virtual Desk content—what did that season teach you about discipline and creativity?
Content creation has never been easy for me, but during that season, I learned that discipline comes before creativity. Showing up consistently, even when it felt tough, helped me stay focused and made the process easier.
I also realized that creativity isn’t about perfection; it’s about being authentic and sharing value. As the business grows, I plan to bring someone on board to handle content creation, so I can focus on the areas where I add the most value to my clients.
You once worked as an MTN customer service rep. Did you ever experience prank calls? And what are your thoughts on how young career people today often prefer hopping roles quickly instead of steadily building?
During my time as an MTN customer service rep, I didn’t really experience prank calls. What I mostly dealt with were customers who needed their SIM cards upgraded or replaced, or had issues with their data or airtime. That experience taught me patience, empathy, integrity, and problem-solving under pressure which helped me handle every situation with honesty and excellence, no matter how challenging the customer’s mood was.
I believe young professionals switching roles quickly can be both beneficial and limiting. Job-hopping provides exposure and helps people discover what they truly enjoy, but staying longer in a role builds depth, resilience, integrity, and credibility.
Personally, I think once you find a job that gives you the fulfillment you desire, it’s best to grow there. This not only removes the need to keep searching elsewhere but also shows reliability, consistency, and expertise.
You sing in the church choir—and the bathroom (lol). Why haven’t you dropped the album yet? On a serious note, how fulfilling is it to sing for God, and what’s your best memory in all the years you’ve been doing it?
(Laughs) I’m just a church girl who loves to sing for God. I’m not an artist. My journey started back in Primary 6 when I joined the choir, singing Alto. We learned with solfa notations, and I always enjoyed going to conventions because they felt like friendly competitions with other choirs.
During my secondary school years, I served as the children’s choir teacher in my church, which was such a rewarding experience. In my first and second year at university, I joined the Victory Chapel Mass Choir because I just love singing for God.
Over the years, I’ve grown into a strong Alto backup singer. I enjoy it because it allows me to blend harmonies, support the lead singers, and use my listening skills to know when to switch parts.
For me, the real joy comes from leading people in worship or praise. It’s never about the spotlight, it’s about using my voice to glorify God and help others connect with Him. That, for me, is the best memory every time I sing.
You’re one of the rare women of our generation who can cook Ekpang Nkukwo. How do you feel about our generation losing touch—or even diluting—traditional recipes and culture?
Not everyone enjoys cooking, and some people don’t know the traditional way of making certain meals, especially if they’re not from the tribe it comes from. That’s why recipes sometimes change.
It’s okay to use quicker methods as long as the taste stays the same. However, when teaching the recipe, it’s important to also explain the traditional method so people understand how it was originally prepared and can help preserve our culture.
You once said you can’t speak your native language. Have you ever been chastised for that, and how do you personally feel about it?
My native language is Lokaa, spoken by the people of Yakurr LGA in Cross River State. I understand it well but don’t speak it fluently.
Sometimes people tease me about this, but I haven’t been criticized. I still wish I spoke it better because it’s an important part of my identity, and I’m working on improving it.
How do you relax these days? And when life brings disappointment, how do you handle it?
These days, I relax by:
Watching good movies: One I really enjoy is Sandman. Each character taught me something about life and made me see it as a balance of dreams, choices, and lessons.
Changing my environment: A change of scenery helps me feel refreshed and clear my mind.
Listening to music: I love music, especially gospel and R&B. I also enjoy Afrobeats, particularly the classics from the mid 2000s. Sometimes, a little rap and trap keeps me in a happy mood.
For disappointment, I try to stay realistic by looking at both the positive and negative sides of everything, so when disappointments come, I’m not caught off guard and can handle them better.
Let’s talk about relationships—what’s one pretty-girl challenge you’ve faced in dating, and how do you see the dating landscape today?
One challenge I’ve faced in dating is dealing with insecurity or intimidation, which can create trust issues. I’ve learned not to take it personally because I know I’m easygoing and kind, even if sometimes I’m too kind.
Dating today has two sides: some people date for money or fun, which makes it feel shallow, but there are still genuine people who value commitment. The key is to define the relationship early so you don’t waste time.
Who motivates you, and what are your hopes for the future as you continue building life in Nigeria?
My family, money and my own desire to do better motivate me. In the future, I want to keep learning, invest smartly, and earn money from different sources.
Finally, share with us one random thought—funny, deep, or chaotic—that’s been living rent-free in your head lately.
Lol! Why do we rush to grow up only to realize adulthood is basically just paying bills and figuring out what to eat every day
Random Thoughts and 1 New Newsletter
This is my job after the crisis era.
The sharp shift from “Don’t bring any man to this house” to “Where is your husband” must be wild for women. Peak gaslighting.
Yup, that’s the correct lyrics - Ayra Starr, step back.
Introducing How’s Work
Anyone who knows me knows I love to tell people’s stories—whether through photography, copywriting, or content planning. This time, I’m sharing those stories through thoughts that have been bothering me for a long time.
1. The whole “School na scam” and “9-5” salary worker no get hope narrative.
2. The rise of the faux sense of personal branding thriving on LinkedIn, where people who aren’t interested in doing the work constantly highlight every small thing as a life-changing message—You know what I mean—All the “I visited the MD’s office today and here’s what it taught me about B2B marketing.”
This has led to the creation of Hows Work—a sister newsletter on my LinkedIn where I spotlight people who have done the work and are building their careers as inspiration to anyone doubting the value of a 9-5 career, and to motivate others to focus on doing work that truly matters.
Our first episode is so brilliant I’ve read it 70 times. It’s gained 116 subscribers and features a man making magic at 29: Wilfred Emmanuel.
Subscribe to How’s Work here: How's Work Is Here
I am not going to the field today, transfer window opened in our Alcohol League and nobody has bought me yet!!!
No, Here We Go for Budweiser striker?!
Anyways, enjoy your weekend.
The dating part is full of reality