I packed my bags, took a one-way flight, and chose myself. — Madonna | Proof Of Life, Episode 26.
Madonna Badom on moving to Gambia, finding peace by the ocean, healing through grief, and rebuilding a life that feels like her own.
Speak up for those who cannot speak for themselves, for the rights of all who are destitute. Speak up and judge fairly; defend the rights of the poor and needy. – Proverbs 31:8-9
This verse comes to mind whenever I think of who Madonna is and what she stands for.
She has always carried a quiet kind of bravery—the kind I’ve watched unfold over the years with equal parts admiration and curiosity. She’s the sort of person who doesn’t make noise; she simply packs her bag, books a one-way ticket, and starts life over by the ocean. But if you truly know Madonna, you know she’s a full novel: soft girl, fighter, Chelsea fan-in-hiding 😅, and a stubborn dreamer who chases the chapters her spirit chooses.
From the girl I knew in Calabar to the woman learning, healing, running, advocating, and calling Gambia home, she has become someone who doesn’t just survive new seasons; she studies them, feels them deeply, and lets them transform her.
Episode 26 is Madonna opening her world to me — and now to you.
The adventure, the culture shocks, the grief, the feminism, the running shoes, the football memories, the friendships, and the proof of life she’s gathering along the way.
Let’s begin with our signature opener—what does “Proof of Life” mean to you right now?
I am in a learning phase. I have had to do a lot of growing and healing, but now, I am learning from everything and everyone.
Right now, ‘Proof of Life’ means showing up fully for myself in this chapter of learning. Living alone in Gambia has pushed me to embrace change in every way, and I’ve had to do a lot of inner work. Still, now I’m intentionally learning from every experience and educating myself about things that interest me.
In 2022, you packed up your life and moved to Gambia — a bold step many dream of but never attempt. What led to that decision, and do you remember the exact moment you knew you had to go?
Seeeee, it was like an eureka moment. I was done with school, finished up a major project, and I was looking for the next thing to do with my life.
I was restless in Calabar sha, so when my friend told me of this small but beautiful West African country with the best beaches, I was sold. I gathered all my savings, booked a one-way flight, and just left.
I had the support of my parents and friends who encouraged me, but for me, that was the next thing I wanted to experience, and my wild spirit kept nudging me towards this place.
Settling into a new country comes with its own surprises. What were your biggest culture shocks in Gambia — the ones that confused you, humbled you, or made you laugh?
I mean it’s West Africa, so there are a lot of similarities. But here are the culture shocks I have experienced so far that made me laugh.
A surprising culture shock for me in Gambia was how children greet adults. The first time I met my colleague’s twin kids, not more than seven, they confidently extended their hands for a firm handshake — something opposite to what I’m used to in Nigeria. At first, I was taken aback, but now I’ve grown used to it and admire it so much.
It is very relaxed and slow-paced here. People are relaxed and not in a hurry like we are in Nigeria. As someone who lived in Calabar, this was not new to me. But people who come in from Lagos usually find it hard to adjust.
People you don’t know or are not very familiar with will always ask you to join them in their meal. Market people, strangers that see you just passing, your neighbours, etc, if you meet a Gambian eating, they would 100% ask you to join them. And it is a genuine request not that fake one Nigerians do out of courtesy, secretly wishing you would say No… And if you say yes, you’ll join them by eating from the same plate, which is so intimate. I have olonga so I have been involved in some communal meals like that, especially during feasts, and it was heartwarming.
If you pass someone without greeting them, it is considered rude. You greet everyone, even strangers. And people will always remember your name from the first time you tell them. It is very heartwarming, and it has rubbed off on me. When my sister visited, she said I am more Gambian now because of how I was always asking, “How are you?” every minute.
What have been your favourite memories of living in Gambia so far? The moments that made you whisper, “I’m glad I came here.”
Every single time I walk to the beach, I have so much peace that I am here. Also, I have made meaningful friends here, visiting their homes, enjoying the culture and experiencing the warmth of the people makes me so glad I am here.
Nigeria has a special way of pulling on the heart. Do you miss home, and have you visited since moving? If you landed at MMIA tomorrow, what’s the very first thing you’d do?
Lol, I would head to NIMC office and fix my NIN😅.
On a lighter note, I miss Nigerian food that is not overpriced, so I would do a beeline for very good afang soup.
I also miss my siblings so much. Between the time I moved here, I lost my parents, so family is very, very important to me now, and I appreciate them more.
This year, you embraced fitness with consistency — especially running. What sparked that journey for you, and how has movement helped you mentally, emotionally, or spiritually?
Seeee, I climbed a two-story staircase one day and was breathless at the top; that is when I knew something had to change. I started running because I wanted to be fit, not necessarily lose weight.
I have added some weight in the few years I have been here, but it is weight I like as long as it doesn’t go overboard. But running consistently and also running in the Banjul marathon (10k edition 😅) was healing. Running is so intimate and so personal. From the outside, it seems like you are punishing yourself, but for me, it means discipline. Every time I lace my running shoes and step outside, I think of the million more things I could have been doing with that time, like sleeping, but immediately I hit the road, my sole goal becomes how to run the 5k or 10k I have set out to do that day, and the discipline to not stop halfway.
Every time I hit a running goal, like when I ran 5km in under 40 minutes, it reinforces to me that I can do hard things and gives me new confidence. As someone who struggled with consistency for a while, running helped me mentally and is still helping me. Now, I make time to run even after a long work day or sometimes before work in the morning. I think it has also helped me spiritually because I listen to gospel music when I run, which allows me to worship throughout my run.
You’ve been a Chelsea fan for years — even though you’ve gone quiet recently (we understand why 😅). How did your love for football begin, and do you have any funny stories of being a girl obsessed with the game?
Chelsea is my forever love…growing up, our house was the football house where everyone came to watch the big matches, the excitement after a goal, the despair after a loss, and the electric rivalry of football fans caught me in its web. I became a fan of Chelsea because that was my brother and my mum’s club, only my dad was supporting Arsenal. But I think my love for Chelsea became even more when we won the first Champions League, the energy was palpable.
As a girl who likes football, people think you are just looking at fine men run around, meanwhile I am wondering what formation the opponents will play so that I can be an internet coach and recommend a starting 11😅Or the one where they will ask you to name the first 11 of your club if you are a real fan- like I need to prove anything.
But one of the wildest things I have experienced is when I told someone I was in a talking stage with that I am a Chelsea fan, he directly told me that I will have to support his team and leave Chelsea if we are serious😅. Apparently he was a true hater of Chelsea😅
Who are your favourite players, past or present, and what football memory lives rent-free in your mind?
The golden team of Didier Drogba, Frank Lampard and John Terry are up there as my favourite players. These guys made me fall in love with football and Chelsea every time they played. I also really like Asisat Oshoala and Sam Kerr, they are a beauty to watch. In the Naija front, I always loved Kano Nwankwo from his Peak Milk advert😅, then Jay Jay, Odeminwigie and Mikel Obi.
A football memory that lives rent free is our second Champions league victory, between you and I, I cried that day. I was sooooo nervous, we were playing the mighty Pep’s Man City and the entire world against us (I still don’t get why people hate Chelsea o). I did not have the guts to watch the match, then I heard Goallll, I thought it was Man City that scored, then I checked Livescores and it was Harvertz goal. Just retelling it is giving me goosebumps of how glorious that day felt. More because we had finally shut the haters up.
Before banking, you spent time working with an NGO. What were your favourite projects there, and what made advocacy meaningful to you?
Advocacy has always felt natural to me, even now, I still support causes on education, menstrual hygiene, personal development, and sexual rights.
My favourite projects were in communities where we meet girls and women who are brave, strong and willing to learn and improve their lives. Seeing that change from shy silence to confidence is why I do what I do. To many people, projects like these are lifelines and a window to see that there is so much more than their current situation, and a reminder that people are available to always assist them.
There is so much poverty, sickness, misinformation and evil reining free in the world, so anything I can do to reduce that just a little bit is always an honour.
As someone passionate about women’s rights, what do you hope for Nigerian women today—and what do you wish for the women coming after us?
I wish for safety.
Research shows that 1 in 3 women in Nigeria aged 15-49 have experienced physical and/or sexual violence in their lifetime. We have all these beautiful laws that protect women with no clear implementation plan, so women are still at risk of abuse in their homes, in school, on the internet, in church and in public. So yes, I wish safety for Nigerian women, we have heard too many heart breaking stories that have become normalised.
I am not too worried about the women coming after us, I know they will be raised by brave women and will continue the good work. But I also wish they experience ease. I want them to experience a Nigeria where fighting for respect isn’t their daily routine, where every conversation will not turn into a lecture because people think making jokes about women and abuse are normal, and where when a girl says “I don’t like onions”, she won’t be asked “so what would you do if your husband likes onions” because her preferences are less important than an imaginary husband’s. I hope they grow up knowing that their voices matter and their ambitions and dreams are not something to shrink for anyone.
Feminism in Nigeria has taken many shapes lately — loud, controversial, misunderstood, and evolving. What does feminism mean to you, and what do you wish more people understood about it?
I really like Chimamanda’s definition of Feminist. A person who believes in the equality of the sexes. Many gender authors have further explained it, but to me, it is simply the belief that women deserve full humanity: equal rights, equal safety, equal opportunities, and equal respect. I always say people see a minuscule of the extent of patriarchy in our country, and some of them only see women who are thriving and think that is the majority of women. Then they ask why we complain and make noise when women are free to go to school, vote, or have money.
Until you visit a rural community and see a woman in her 7th pregnancy, tired and without an education because she was married off at the age of 15 and has been birthing kids for a husband who doesn’t see her as a human with emotions, or a 10-year-old girl who has experienced the brutality of female genital mutilation (FGM) and is suffering complications like VVF, then you will understand why we advocate. With the high number of women and girls experiencing violence (physical and sexual violence), only 0.9% of perpetrators are brought to trial, and almost none are convicted, so perpetrators are going scot-free and repeating their crimes.
I need people to know that feminism in Nigeria goes far beyond online controversies; it is not some gotcha moment that is used to score points. There are real-life issues faced by women in many parts of Nigeria that feminism helps, and I will continue to do my part in advancing women’s rights because there are human rights.
You’ve been navigating grief after a personal loss. How have you coped through that season, and what memories of your loved one do you hold closest to your heart?
Grief has been after my life… But I think I am handling it well. Losing my parents literally months apart shook me to my core. I grew up in a home filled with singing, so music helped me through all the grief. Also, I have the best support system, my friends, family, church members all held me.
The best memory with my mum is of us cooking Ekpang Nkukwo with Firewood in the backyard and just singing Catholic hymns as we prepped everything. My mum always said we could start a full choir with just us and I agree. Grief is so weird, because how do you have all this love and nowhere to put it again, it’s like when they left, they took a piece of you with them. Yes, you heal, but also it hurts because there is always a space there.
I experienced so much love from my parents, we used to hug every morning after prayers, my parents literally sent me letters when I moved to Gambia, and we said I love you frequently. Knowing that I had experienced a pure form of love like that helps me navigate this great loss.
Lol, now I am crying.
Family is a big part of your world — what does family mean to you today, and how have they shaped the woman you’re becoming?
Family is my grounding place; it means support, accountability, and unconditional love — they are the people who see me fully and still push me to grow.
They have shaped the woman I’m becoming by teaching me resilience, empathy, and the importance of standing up for what I believe in. The values I got from my family are the reason I pursue advocacy with so much conviction; my mum was also a human rights advocate.
Family, for me, is my soft landing and my strongest foundation.
When the day finally winds down, and you’re just Madonna — not the banker, not the advocate, not the runner — how do you find peace and reset?
Ahhhhhh, if I am not pursuing one course or application deadline, I like to go to the beach and just watch the waves. I cannot explain how therapeutic that is. It reminds me that the world is so big and that my problems are too small to be worrying too much.
On other days, I am rewatching Friends and The Big Bang Theory on Netflix on my bed. I really like the dynamics of friendship portrayed in those two shows, and they always make me laugh.
Finally, drop one random, funny, chaotic, or profound thought that’s been living rent-free in your mind lately.
I have two: Sleep is elite, I look forward to sleeping, I think of sleeping, I want to sleep even before I have woken up. It is just the best thing ever created.
Secondly, do not ever worry about what people would say. People would always talk, always assume, always gossip, but you need to be true to yourself and have values.
Everyone else would be fine.
A collective will give birth to the collective.
Watch this space. sohrcollective.com
The year I turned 31
My age feels so surreal. I am at that age where you know you are old enough to avoid doing dumb stuff but still young at heart, craving to explore.
This can’t be a midlife crisis because my life still has a long way to go.
Anyway, I am super grateful for the journey and the path my life is taking, and I couldn’t be more proud.
I’ve accepted that I am a people person—like my friend will say, “to a fault”—but what is life if not for the growth and support of others?
However, my goal is to create boundaries and control access. If this sounds like a rant, forgive me—or not. My Substack is my diary and my shout into the void you all eavesdrop on.
Anyway, the feed has ears, so goodbye.
Enjoy your weekend; I have an award to collect by 9 pm today.